Questions to ask a prospective therapist

Most therapists offer a short free phone call before the first session, and even if they don’t, the first session is a fair place for these. Asking questions isn’t rude or high-maintenance. It’s how good matches happen, and therapists prefer clients who know what they want.

You won’t need all of these. Pick the ones that matter to you.

About fit for your situation

• Have you worked with people dealing with [the thing you’re dealing with]? What was that like?
• How would you approach something like this?
• Do you work with people who [share an identity, background, or circumstance that matters to you]?
• Is there anything you don’t work with, or would refer out?

About how they work

• How would you describe your style? More structured or more open-ended? More talking or more listening?
• Do you give things to work on between sessions?
• How will we know whether it’s working? How do you handle it when it isn’t?
• How long do people usually see you? How do you think about ending?
• What do you do if I disagree with you, or if I’m frustrated with the therapy?

About logistics

• What’s your fee? Do you have a sliding scale?
• Are you in-network with my plan? If not, do you provide superbills?
• What’s your cancellation policy?
• How often would we meet? Is every other week an option?
• Do you offer video sessions? In-person? Both?
• What’s your availability? Evenings or weekends?
• How do you handle contact between sessions if something comes up?

About the basics

• What’s your license, and in which state?
• How long have you been practicing?
• Do you consult with other clinicians or have supervision? (Nearly all good therapists do. It’s a sign of rigor, not inexperience.)

What to listen for

More than the specific answers, notice how they answer. Do they answer directly? Do they explain things without jargon? Do they ask you anything back? Do you feel rushed, or condescended to, or like they’re reciting? Do you feel, even a little, like this person could understand you?

A therapist who says “I don’t know, but here’s how we’d find out” is being honest. One who promises to fix you in six sessions is not.

Red flags

• Won’t tell you their license or fees.
• Guarantees results.
• Talks about themselves more than they ask about you.
• Dismisses your questions or seems annoyed by them.
• Pushes you to commit on the call.
• Says anything that makes you feel judged, and doesn’t notice.

If it’s a no

You can say “Thanks, I’m going to keep looking” on the call, or send a one-line email afterward. Therapists get this constantly. You don’t owe an explanation, and you don’t need to ghost them either.